The Band
Jason Kraeuter - Guitar, Vocals, and Leader of the Band
Jason is a modern-day renaissance man who, in addition to his musical prowess, is an accomplished potter, floral arrangement artist, and the inventor of that thing-a-majiggy that makes the artificial heart work. In his free time, Jason enjoys scaring small children by indiscriminately cursing and yelling “I’m The Leader Of The Band” for no apparent reason.
Sean Corbett – Drums
Sean, aka Home-Slice, is an expert skate-board aerialist and holds three MMA championship belts. In addition, Sean’s hobbies include whittling, solving world crisis, and listening to Ethel Merman records in the nude.
Chain Onorato - Bass
Chain, AKA Shain, aka Nicole is, despite his diminutive 4’7” frame, the proud owner of the largest penis in Louisiana (It’s his pet horse’s, but whatever). Additionally, he has been known to smoke anything that will burn and “make you feel good”.
Todd Terminie - Manager
Todd is a rotund mound of Italian lovin’ whose hobbies include jewelry making, playing poker and talking dirty to female inmates. The only thing smoother than his bald head are his buttocks, which are regarded as the smoothest buttocks in the country.