The Band
Meagan McKelroy - Vocals
Meagan is the only member of the band worth looking at (or talking to, for that matter). An accomplished gum chewer and hair twirler, her hobbies include tracking wallabies in the outback and doing the hand jive. She also holds the record for finding the longest human nose hair at 6'8". Thankfully, it wasn't her own.
Jason Kraeuter - Guitar, Vocals, and Leader of the Band
Jason is a modern-day renaissance man who, in addition to his musical prowess, is an accomplished potter, floral arrangement artist, and the inventor of that thing-a-majiggy that makes the artificial heart work. In his free time, Jason enjoys scaring small children by indiscriminately cursing and yelling “I’m The Leader Of The Band” for no apparent reason.
Sean Corbett – Drums
Sean, aka Home-Slice, is an expert skate-board aerialist and holds three MMA championship belts. In addition, Sean’s hobbies include whittling, solving world crisis, and listening to Ethel Merman records in the nude.
Chain Onorato - Bass
Chain, AKA Shain, aka Nicole is, despite his diminutive 4’7” frame, the proud owner of the largest penis in Louisiana (It’s his pet horse’s, but whatever). Additionally, he has been known to smoke anything that will burn and “make you feel good”.
Mat Adams - Lights
Mat is a man with no arms and no legs that lies in front of your door. He is tall, well built, and relatively disease free (LADIES!!!!). Additionally, he was the 2005 Saskatchewan aerial yo-yo champion and enjoys "watching all the blinky lights" at shows. When he grows up, he hopes to take advantage of his resemblance to Michael Stipe by leading an all albino REM tribute act in Vegas.
Todd Terminie - Manager
Todd is a rotund mound of Italian lovin’ whose hobbies include jewelry making, playing poker and talking dirty to female inmates. The only thing smoother than his bald head are his buttocks, which are regarded as the smoothest buttocks in the country.